


Silent All These Years

by deandratb



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1960s, F/M, Love Confessions, referenced Toby/Andy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-19 00:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deandratb/pseuds/deandratb
Summary: Underdog political campaigner Toby Ziegler and radical lefty protester CJ Cregg have been best friends for decades. But with his wedding fast approaching, she decides it's time to come clean.





	Silent All These Years

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous prompt: **historical au + poorly timed confession**

It was the summer of 1968 and Toby Ziegler was about to marry his fiancee, in between marches and work on radical campaigns that he knew probably wouldn’t win but that he loved fighting for.

Claudia Jean Cregg had been his closest friend since they were still in college, and she agreed to be best man in his wedding–right before getting arrested at a protest for punching a cop whose hands roamed south of anywhere legal.

The ceremony was rapidly approaching, 13 hours and counting, as Toby went to bail her out of jail at 1am. 

When he found her there after filling out the paperwork, CJ was the only person in the cell. She still had slightly wilting flowers in her hair.

Her blue eyes were huge and apologetic while they waited for someone with keys to join them. Toby was silent, not sure what there was to say.

This wasn’t her first arrest. The more he worried, the more radical she seemed to become. Lately something was pushing them apart, and whether it was the changing times or growing older, he didn’t appreciate it. He wanted his best friend back.

Once she was out of custody, CJ followed him to his car and sat in the seat beside him, wringing her hands. 12 hours left now, Toby realized when he looked at his watch. Andy would be waking up soon, unaware that he had left his bachelor party for this.

“You have your suit?” he asked quietly, catching her nod in his peripheral vision. She’d insisted on dressing like any other best man would, finding the idea delightfully counterculture. His bride-to-be seemed less amused, but then again, she wasn’t entirely comfortable around CJ to begin with. 

“Okay, then.” Toby turned the car on, preparing to take her home. CJ grabbed his wrist before he could pull out of the lot, facing his watch toward her and seeing how little time there was left. 

She laced her fingers through his instead of letting go, and pulled a purple blossom out from behind her ear with her other hand.

“I love you,” CJ told him, watching the flower as she twirled it slowly.

Toby lifted the corner of his mouth, patting their joined hands. “I know. I love you, too. Even when you make me post your bail.”

“No, dummy. I  **love**  you.”

His confused frown deepened into a scowl when he understood. Only Toby would look that annoyed by the idea of love, she thought, stifling her own grin.

“Since when?” He asked. It sounded like an accusation.

“Since college.”

“CJ, that’s years…and you never said anything.”

“Well, after that night when we almost–and it was a disaster–I was waiting for the right time.” 

“And something about the morning before my wedding just screamed perfect timing?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course not. I’m not an idiot. The right time never came, so I decided to suck it up and not say anything at all.”

They were still holding hands, Toby realized. He slid his free. “What changed your mind?”

“A handsy cop.”

He laughed, but CJ was already shaking her head. “I’m serious, Toby. I stand up for what’s right, I go to jail, I get bailed out–no big deal. That’s how it works. But the cop who arrested me, he could’ve punched back. He could’ve done even worse.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t need her to tell him that. It was one of the things he worried about whenever she went protesting without him, just another face in the crowds standing up to a government that was happy to use force on unarmed citizens.

“All the way to the jail I couldn’t stop thinking about it, about what I would be leaving behind if something happened to me. And there’s not much. My goldfish, an apartment with three days worth of groceries…and my relationship with you. Which I hadn’t been entirely honest about.”

CJ sighed, running a hand through her hair. “So, I know you’re about to marry Andy. I know you care about me like a friend. But I owe you the truth, and that’s the truth. I’ve been in love with you for most of my life.”

“You know this is insane, right?” Toby stared at her. “The morning of my wedding, in the parking lot where you just spent the night in jail–and if you’ve really felt this way for all these years…I just don’t get it. Why not tell me sooner?”

“We almost ruined it before. We made better friends. I wanted that to last.”

Toby took her hand. “Well, now you told me. We’re still friends. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Except on your honeymoon,” CJ reminded him with a smile. “In approximately twelve hours. My suit’s all ready.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“Oh, come on, Toby. Don’t tell me you changed your mind. I’m gonna look great, and be the perfect best man. I promise.”

“It’s not the suit. It’s the honeymoon. And the wedding.”

“What about them?”

He chewed on his bottom lip for a few seconds, as though he was turning words over in his head until he found the right ones. “I didn’t want to ruin it either,” Toby admitted. 

“You–”

He grinned at her, that smile that always spread over his face like a secret, or a gift he saved for special occasions. “I’ve loved you for decades, too, Claudia Jean. Heaven help me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from the Tori Amos song of the same name.


End file.
